NLP Metaphors
Jimmy Petruzzi
Metaphor is based on a Greek word meaning to carry something across or transfer
“Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee”
Muhammad Ali
The power of a metaphor
Do you remember story time back at school, or looking forward to having a bed time story read by your parents? Some of the stories your heard when you were young. Stories which would create an impact on your life, stories like Cinderella, the Ugly Duckling, no doubt you can think of many more. The impact some of these stories and metaphors had on your life. Being able to draw from metaphors and stories to get a sense of perspective of your life. The first time you had your heart broken, or experienced a level of rejection like not making the school cheer leading or football team. Through out our life it’s these stories and metaphors that galvanise our resolve through our life’s challenges.
Metaphors provide people with hope, and light, draw on our resources to be able to find a meaning from difficult and challenging situations. Metaphors provide us with multiple perspectives.
- One person’s life can be the same old same old
- And another person’s life can be a bed of roses
Which in turn can influence the way a person thinks or feels and approaches life?
Using metaphors were able to step out of the problem and see it from a different context to help us find solutions and draw strength, draw upon all of our minds resources. Metaphors are useful to be able to shift our mindset to a more creative resource. Helping us to generate solutions, and reconnect with ourselves, the metaphors we already use can have a positive or negative impact on our lives they can completely alter our perceptions on life and make an impact on how we feel and how we live our life.
A power example is I am sure the one we have all come across, same shit different day, I remember being a kid seeing people have it on little sign posts on their car and even printed of on tee shirts,. Imagine waking up with that perspective in life imagine how you would feel think what state of mind you would be in, probably not the best. I am sure we have come across and have possibly used many other negative metaphors for different parts of your life for work, relationships,
Some examples of metaphors people use
- are my life is like a roller coaster,
- Couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery
- Couldn’t hit a barn door (metaphor used in football for someone who is struggling to score goals)
- Have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince
A metaphor can change your whole perception of a situation, a problem, your life and in the process move you onto a new level. Move you out of a problematic situation, put your in a more resourceful state of mind, make you happier, give you hope. (If you have every watched the film Forrest Gump)
Forrest Gump says during a scene of the film: My momma always said, “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get. Through out the film Forrest attitude and outlook to life was one of anticipation taking all of life’s events in his stride.
A metaphor can be very influential in the way live our lives, forming an attitude and becoming influential on our behavior and outlook on life. When I was working with Bury football club, one of our players coming through who would go on to achieve the most amazing success as a football player, a meteoric rise to the top, from the depths of League 2 to champions league football.
I recall setting a physical training programme for the players were they would run tough 400 meter sprints, I don’t think Colin particularly enjoyed this part of training, he would sometimes let me know his thoughts about doing the 400s, I used to say to Colin your a machine, your built like a machine.
This was a metaphor which transformed the way he perceived the training.
I remember bumping into Colin when he was making his way up in the football league at a match, and one of the things he said was I am a machine, which brought a smile to my face.
The following exercise is very powerful and can help you transform the way you feel about your life
What are some of the metaphors you use in your life and think about the impact, if it has a negative impact change it to something more resourceful?
For example
- “We are all just a drop in the ocean”
- Change to something more profound “by throwing a pebble into a river we can create a ripple”
- “At work I am just a number”
- To “I am an important cog in a wheel”
Complete the exercise write down the metaphors you are using to run your mind
Take a few minutes to think about some of the metaphors you’re using in your life.
Write the metaphors down
Now think of the impact it is having on your life, the perception you gain from the metaphor
From the list you completed the following exercise is to change anything negative to more positive
Take a moment to think and notice how different you feel by creating a more resourceful metaphor.
For example
I am Stuck in a dead end job can be changed to my job is a stepping stone to better things
My work…………….
My relationships……………………..
My life……………………………………………………..
Using metaphors to create stories
This can be very therapeutic having worked with many clients over a number of years this technique is a powerful and special technique to help people develop an inner resolve and greater perspective on many situations.
Some of the clients I work with have been through some of the most challenging experiences in life; they have suffered physical and mental abuse and get stuck in a negative place. Finding it difficult to move forward and make the most of their life, One of the techniques I use is ask the client to come up with a metaphor for the situation they are going through in their life, it often has a powerful effect on their life.
I was working with a client once who had been on anti depressants for several years; they had been told that they were medically depressed by their GP. They told me how they felt they had no hope, no motivation, found it difficult to get through life.
They had given up all the things they enjoyed doing, cut themselves of their friends and family, and were left in a dark place with no way out. Amongst many other things they said, they had seen counselors, doctors, psychologists; things never seemed to get better.
One of the techniques that helped them to move out of the situation they were in was I had asked them to create a metaphor for the situation they were in and close the metaphor with a positive ending, the state of mind they would like to be in (so taking the present state of mind they were in and focusing on the desired state of mind). And having created the metaphor put it in a place they could see it daily.
Having done this, this person completely transformed their life. To the point the no longer needed medication, got back on their feet again, new job, revitalized their relationship, took many social activities including dancing. They completely transformed their life. Like many others, by altering their perspective. I am not advocating anyone on medication come off, though this is a perfect example of how sometimes we are too quick to label ourselves, or get labeled. With something’s which isn’t productive.
An example of a metaphor
For someone who is situations were things may be challenging, however by persisting they can get through.
Consider a river; how it flows to the mighty seas, on its journey it meets many challenges and obstacles along the way, though never giving up hope, it keeps flowing.
The nature of the river is such no matter what gets in its way, hills, forests, fields; it manages to find a way round or through the obstacles until it succeeds in achieving its goal. Regardless how difficult, challenging impossible it may have seemed to begin with, the river keeps flowing until it meets the sea.
Create your own metaphor
Now using the above metaphor as an example do the following exercise with a situation in your life. Take the time to create a metaphor for a challenge you may be going through at the moment.
When creating your metaphor take your time to relax and let your Mind wonder let your subconscious mind take over and be creative.
Identify the situation or problem in your life
Write down whets going on
Who is involved?
How is it a problem?
How would you like things to evolve?
Key points in writing your metaphor
- In writing your metaphor decide on characters and settings that reflect the relationships of the people involved
- Develop a plot that reflects the current problem
- Develop the story reflecting the current problem into a story which has a positive ending
- Making positive changes to the story
- Building the metaphor
- Populate the metaphor with characters (egg super heroes, wizards, trees, birds, animals, people.)
- And what reflects the relationship of the significant people involved in developing the plot of the metaphor, include anything you may have already tried to change things.
- Offer resolutions by developing the story so its moves towards a positive ending, be creative and draw from your sub conscious mind
Having created your metaphor notice how differently you feel about the situation, your perspective and outlook.